GRAVITAS

SOLD My beautiful daughter sings this song from “Wicked”.  Elphaba was prejudged, misunderstood and cast out.  But in this song, she embraces all that she is and rises to her own greatness.  Every day I tell my daughter  “Always do your best, but let your best be good enough.”  Defy gravity and rise about all the mediocrity and drama around you.

This song also allows those of us who have faced great diversity to “pick ourselves up” and not wait for others to help us.  I think when grieving a loss, that publicly people around us know about, we feel judged and watched. As if we need to behave a certain way to meet everyone else’s expectations.  I know when my husband finally passed away, I felt judged and watched. As if I needed to be strong or cry, that I couldn’t display any joy because folks would think I was insensitive.  I thought I had to act a certain way in public.  Last month I saw an interview with Leah Michele and she spoke about losing Cory.  She too said in public, she felt like if she smiled people thought she was too happy and if she looked sad then they would feel sorry for her.  I know exactly what she was feeling.  But at some point, you have to be “through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game.”

“Too long I’ve been afraid of, losing love I guess I’ve lost”. I understand the fear and living with fear of losing.  One of the great gifts my husband’s death gave me was to realize that I had been living in fear of being “left/abandoned”.  And guess what? Nick LEFT me in the most ultimate way - and I’m still standing and NOBODY in all of OZ is ever going to bring me down.  We are resilient, even through heartbreak and we can defy gravity and rise to our individual greatness.