I started and finished this painting a week before my solo show in November.  I had been staring at this blank canvas for months. This painting is also 48"x60". I thought perhaps at first that it was about one person, who made me hopeful, but have discovered that it was about a group of friends I have - we are all tied together by a shared experience and understanding - who together helped me along my journey and continue to help me find hope and allow me to feel despair in a safe environment.  Thank you, Four Winds!

This spring my daughter and I spent 22 days in Europe. While in Barcelona, Spain I saw these beautiful Jacaranda trees in bloom with gorgeous purple flowers. I left on that epic trip wanting to get as far away from my home in Sacramento - leaving my grief and memories behind- the trip was full of hope and possibilities as I received many communications from friends back home. On that trip, I allowed myself to hope for a bright future full of love and connection - instead of running away - I found myself looking forward to coming home.

They say grief is a journey, but it's not one that takes a straight path, in fact, it can be a meandering path, and one that gets you lost and wandering in circles.

Hope about something better, something clearer, something that makes you feel alive again, it brings you to another space, a lighter space.  But when you lose hope or become hopeless, that's when you feel like you have fallen off the path, or turned down a dark road and aren't moving forward.  I am thankful to have a community who keeps me moving forward.


I don’t wanna fight no more
Only wanna get to shore
Baby, don’t slam the door tonight
We ran another off the tracks
That’s time we can’t get back
But, we can save tomorrow if we try

Oh, 'til we make this right
Oh, I won’t say, "Good night."

I just wanna make you laugh
I just wanna see that smile
Babe, we’re only here, oh, for a little while
I just wanna hold you till we fall asleep
I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me, I want peace

Everybody needs a place
Somewhere that’s warm and safe
A shelter from this crazy world we’re in,
But tonight I let the rain inside
And took away your place to hide
I’m sorry that I made you cry again

Oh, we can make this right,
Oh, kiss me good night